Sunday, January 16, 2011

My Life is a Cartoon

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...

No wait, that's an intro for something different.

Anyway, a long time ago my cousin Missy - who is frequently amused by my day-to-day life - made the comment that my life is like a cartoon.  Today, I accept this as reality.

It's been a longstanding joke with my friends and family that my life is not low-key, or even just 'normal'.  Nothing happens "a little bit" to us.  Gabriel's first fever was 105 degrees and came with seizures and a trip to the ER - thanks, Roseola.  First cold?  ER again - pneumonia.  Several of my friends told me when I first had Gabriel to watch out when changing his diaper - "beware of Old Faithful" they chuckled.  Then the giggles turned to all out belly laughs when I shared this story:  One of the first diaper changes I had with him involved both #1 and #2, and when I opened the diaper, Old Faithful made an appearance - all over me, and when I jumped back, all over the wall.  Then, because it was cold, Gabriel scrunched his legs up and got his feet all in his diaper, which he thought was weird, so he flung his legs back out - sharing the #2 with, you guessed it - me again, and the bedroom walls.  Anyway... you get the point.

So, today makes complete sense.

Graham has been sick for a while now, and so Troy and Graham stayed home from church.  Gabriel went with me, and fell asleep in my lap during the worship service, which meant that I got to spend the sermon with a 43 pound snoring and drooling child leaning on me.  It was great - I got to snuggle with him, which we don't get to do very much.  But at the same time, sheesh, is that kid heavy! 

Then we went home, I dropped Gabriel off, and went out to get my hair done.  Then I went back to get Gabriel and take him to the car wash with me.  Troy took his parents' truck out hunting, and it needed to be washed before it was returned.  Got to the car wash and realized that I had neither cash nor coin anywhere on my person.  The wash took a debit card, but the change machine only took bills.  So, we washed the outside of the truck, then loaded up and drove to the bank to get cash from the ATM.  You can only get increments of $20 from the ATM.  The change machine only gives quarters.  I did not want $20 in quarters.  So, Gabriel and I drove to the gas station and bought a candy bar so that I could pay with my $20 and get change.  Back to the car wash, where I parked at the vacuum cleaners.  Only to discover that they only take quarters.  Said quarters can be exhanged for paper money - ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE PARKING LOT.  Gabriel and I walked over, got change for a $5 - because I didn't want to have to go back! - and then headed back.  20 minutes and 8 quarters later, we finally left the car wash. 

After we got back home, Gabriel and I decided to wash Troy's car.  So we were sequestered in the garage for about an hour while we vacuumed, sprayed, scrubbed, and wiped out the Plymouth.  Now I am completely exhausted an laying on the couch watching "The Office".  Today was great, but ridiculous!

Monday, January 3, 2011

It's a bird, it's a plane, no! It's... Super Mom!

*pan out on Superhero theme song, image of Jessi with a cape on, holding Graham in my left arm, and Gabriel's hand with my right hand in front of the American flag*

Not really, but that's kind of how it feels today.  I just looked around the house and thought "Wow, I didn't accomplish anything of any importance today.  My kids were fighting, now they're both in their bedrooms screaming.  We're having leftovers for dinner, which is also what we had last night, and for lunch the day before.  I did some laundry - look!  There it is, folded up nice and neat on the kitchen table!  Wait a minute... I'm going to have to move that before I can serve my piping hot leftovers to my ungrateful screaming children.  Maybe the floor in the dining room is a good place?  No, wait.  Didn't get to vacuum today.  Stupid dog.  Who needs a thick coat in the winter anyway?  You live in Arizona for crying out loud.  Wait, can't catch a break there - we're having some weird blizzard-cold snap-thing.  And if you need it so much, howcome you're leaving 10 pounds of black dog hair on my carpet every day?  Keep it on your body, genius.  I did clean my bathroom today, but only because I couldn't see myself in the mirror this morning, and because I was pretty sure my sink was originally white, and not the same color as my makeup.  Sure enough, it was white.  Weird.  I did some dishes, but now that means I have dishes that I have to put away. 
And then it hit me - BAM - I got a TON of stuff done today!  Let's see: I got up and packed Troy's lunch.  Got the boys fed and ready to go to an early morning doctor's appointment.  Made it to the appointment on time, too!  That was immediately followed by grocery shopping, and then stopping at the new "Pet Food Club" store to try and find some dog food for Cheyenne that will help her with her allergies.  (Again, stupid dog.) Came home, got all the various purchases put away.  Played dinosaurs vs. sea creatures with the boys in their fort, made and served a healthy & well-rounded lunch, watched Toy Story 3 with the boys before putting Graham down for his nap.  Then Gabriel relaxe with his own free time while I folded the laundry, cleaned the bathroom, and did the dishes, AND talked to Missy of course.  I was on the phone with the TUSD District Office, and with Gabriel's school arranging a meeting to stop the bullying issue.  I was on the phone with Graham's Occupational Therapist (OT) and got some great resources on SPD.  Went outside for a few minutes to watch Gabriel blow some bubbles.  Graham got up and we finished Toy Story 3 and had a fun snack (graham crackers with frosting).  Currently we just finished up making a craft - Indian Headbands, complete with feathers.  Gabriel has a treasure chest that came with the pirate ship he got for Christmas, but it didn't have treasure in it, so being the crafty mommy that I am I used those glitter glue pens in red, blue, and green to artfully add some globs to his treasure chest which I convinced him are rubies, sapphires, and emeralds.  Graham was playing with the Mousetrap game for a minute, but then the boys started fighting over it so now Gabriel is having a time out and Graham has moved on to his sit n' spin.  Troy just called and he's on his way home from getting the new tires put on the van.  Holy Cow.  I did all this in one day??  I must have actual magical powers!